What Laying Your Life Down for the Guilty Means?

John 15:12-13
“This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.”

A Divine Revelation

What does living the truth of this Scripture look like? For me, living this out became a God-sized impossibility that brought me to my knees. Betrayal and deceit would make my best friend an enemy overnight and the hurt and anger associated with the offense would test my ability to love unconditionally, like never before. It would take God showing me how Jesus had laid down His life for me when I was guilty of so many sins to make me want to lay down my life for the guilt of my friend.

I don’t know why betrayal is such a difficult sin to overlook, but for many of us, it rallies all our internal justifications to feel self-righteous, and therefore, fuels our right to judge, condemn, and retaliate against the one who betrayed us. Laying down our life for a friend, turned enemy, is the last thing we want to do. Especially, when they lie about it and try to play us for a fool. Then when they rationalize their betrayal with “You” statements that make us somehow responsible for their actions, compassion and grace go out the window. Our flesh wants nothing better than to put them in their place, lock our heart up tight toward them, or run like hell from them. This is usually when the Holy Spirit intervenes, and the counsel of God kicks in, and most often, it’s the last thing we want to hear.

When God spoke to me about laying down my life for my friend, I can honestly say it was not the counsel I wanted to hear either. It was not only difficult to hear but the hurt and pain of the offense were so intense, that I truly didn’t know how I was going to be able to do it. That’s what I mean by it being a God-sized impossibility. However, that’s exactly what Jesus is talking about in this passage of Scripture.  So, how do we do this when everything in us doesn’t even want to?

Remember, “we love because He first loved us.” The source of our ability to love others comes from His ability to love us. He doesn’t have any problem loving us unconditionally, in spite of our sinfulness, which He laid His life down to pay the penalty for. Therefore, because He lives in us, we should have no problem doing the same for those who sin against us whether they be a friend or a foe. 

What does this kind of love even look like? Well, it starts by giving others what they don’t deserve. It also takes us to the mirror and shows us how we have been equally guilty of the same sin and more. “He who is without sin cast the first stone.”

God will always level the playing field and bring us to a place of relatability with others. I call this, “thereby the grace of God go I” kind of humility that opens the door to forgiveness and reconciliation. In the same breath, it closes the door on judgment and condemnation we might be feeling toward those who have sins against us.

Though I understood what God wanted me to do, the hurt and pain made it extremely difficult to obey Him. It took absolute surrender! Needless to say, it was a daily struggle, and I fought Him every step of the way. But God won over my heart and ultimately, won the wrestling match, and in the long run, so did I.

A Divine Challenge

How willing would you be to lay down your life for a friend, turned enemy? What sin is a deal-breaker for you, that sends you into self-righteous behavior, justified retaliation, or has you checking out from the relationship altogether? Remember, Jesus bore those sins and died for them too! Our sin always looks worse on someone else. If His response to our sin was to lay down His life for us so we could have a relationship with Him. Shouldn’t our response be the same to preserve the relationships we have with others?

Call to Action

Whether that friend is a family member, spouse, significant other, or co-worker. Whether they are a believer or not. The counsel of God is the same! “Love one another, just as I have loved you.”Father, thank You for Your Son who laid His life down for us. Help us surrender our lives completely to Him so He can do what is impossible in us and through us. Teach us a greater dependency on You in the midst of difficult and heartbreaking circumstances, so we can lay our lives down for those we love. In the name of Jesus Christ, we pray. Amen!