Responsibility Minus Love Equals Obligation – An Equation for Disaster
Luke 10:40-42
“But Martha was distracted with all her preparations; and she came up to Him, and said, ‘Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do the serving by myself? Then tell her to help me.’ But the Lord answered and said to her, ‘Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.’”
Wow! That seems like a harsh response for someone just trying to do what needs to be done. However, Jesus sees things always from a matter of the heart and not just outward appearance. In this story we see clearly that sometimes our service to God gets in the way of us being with God and obligation is usually the culprit for this.
The definition of obligation is an act or course of action to which a person is morally or legally bound, a duty of commitment. Recently, I fell under deep conviction in regard to the way I serve others and God. He used this story to show me that “Responsibility minus love equals obligation and resentment/bitterness usually follow and rob us of the joy of serving others.
In the story of Martha and Mary, Martha is focused on all the preparation she must do. Mary on the other hand, spends her time at Jesus’ feet. Martha wants to do what Mary is doing but her sense of obligation gets in the way. As a result, she becomes resentful toward both Jesus and Mary because of it.
A Divine Revelation
Like Martha, when we do things that we are responsible for doing from more of a sense of obligation instead of from love, we often end up feeling resentment toward those we’re doing it for. This sense of obligation can rob us of the joy of serving those we love in a way that blesses them and demands nothing from them in return. Obligation can also blind us to the real need of the moment within us (giving from a place of fullness instead of running on empty) and seeing those we desire to serve as having something to give us too instead of just being takers.
Yes, responsibilities are a part of our everyday life. All of us have tasks, jobs, and work that we are obligated to do. However, if we are not motivated by love and doing them as unto the Lord. As I Cor. 13 clearly states, it will profit us nothing nor will it profit those around us. Col. 3:24 says, “Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord, rather than for men.”
A Divine Challenge
Wives, is the work of your hands the delight of your heart and an act of worship and love for the Lord? Or do you serve others from an attitude of obligation, and not love? Do you resent your family when they don’t help you with the work that needs to be done? Do you use guilt to obligate them to do what they don’t want to do, and breed in their hearts, the same resentment that is in yours?
Husbands, is the work of your hands the delight of your heart and an act of worship and love for the Lord? Or do you serve others from an attitude of obligation, and not love? Do you resent the burden of having to provide for your family? Do you resent your family when they don’t help you with the work that needs to be done around the house? Do you use guilt to obligate them to do what they don’t want to do, and breed in their hearts, the same resentment that is in yours?
Do we as believers serve the body of Christ from a heart of love and as an act of worship to the Lord? Or do we serve others from an attitude of obligation, and not love? Do we resent others when no one pitches in to help? Do we grumble and complain to guilt others into service?
Being motivated by love and not obligation when doing the “Have To’s” in life is a very difficult line to walk. It takes self-awareness to monitor our motivations and the ability to change course when we feel resentment building in our hearts toward others. Humility is also a very necessary component for serving others in love and not out of obligation. Another key component in this is doing all things unto the Lord. When He is the object of our service, resenting others for not reciprocating will not come into play.
In the case of Martha, she wanted the Lord to validate her service above what Mary, her sister was doing. The Lord did not accommodate her in this but exhorted her to choose time with Him like her sister Mary did. “Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her”. He did this to help her, and us, to understand that service to others should never take priority over time with Him. Spending time with our servant King will give us the ability to serve others from a heart of love and not that of obligation.
Call to Action
Beloved, do not be deceived! Martha got it wrong and Jesus’ exhortation of her is recorded forever in Scripture for all to read. Look at the spiritual harvest of your labor and you will know the motivation of your heart. If your service to others is not motivated by love and to please God, it will profit His kingdom nothing and you will become a clanging symbol of resentment and division for all to hear.
Father, there is such a fine line between right and wrong motivations when it comes to serving You and others. Give us a discerning spirit to recognize the spirit of obligation vs. the spirit of true service so we won’t make the same mistake as Martha did. At Your feet, is where true service begins and ends. In the name of Jesus Christ, we pray. Amen!